Just like the Wildebeest.

While putting her to bed, she dropped this gem on me

Michela- Daddy, you have to listen to my mommy.
Me- What?
Michela- If she wants to go to dinner, you have to take her. You know why?
Me- Why?
Michela- Because she is the boss.
Me- Is she now?
Michela- Yes. It doesn't matter if you try to be the boss, you can't be. She always wins. Just like the Wildebeest.
Me- What do you mean?
Michela- She is the boss and you can try to fight her to be the boss just like the wildebeests do, but you will lose. So will I. She is the boss. Ok?
Me- Ok.
Michela- Good night!
Me- Danielle...

That doesn't make any sense.

Me- It's time for bed, little girlie.
Michela- Ok, but you have to give me some milk.
Me- We don't drink Milk at bedtime, Michela. Mommy and Daddy don't want you to go potty at night.
Michela- I won't go potty in my bed. I will wake up and tell you. Now can I have some milk, please?
Me- No, You can't. No milk at bedtime.
Michela- That doesn't make any sense, Daddy. It makes me happy to drink it, and I don't want to make the cows that make the milk sad, right?
Me- No, we don't want that.
Michela- Well, then you have to give me milk, otherwise I will cry and that will make the cows sad. See daddy, you HAVE to give me milk.
Me- I'm not giving you milk tonight. I love you, but you need to go to sleep now.
Michela- Ok, but you're making the cows sad, and that doesn't make any sense at all. Good night.
Me-( did I just lose an argument to a 3 year old?)

I can't!

Me- I love you, little girl!

Michela- I love you Daddy, but I can't trust you.

Me- ( at a loss for words) Wha...You can't trust me?

Michela- No. I just can't.

Me-(heart broken) Why not? I'm your dad!

Michela- You are my father! I can't trust you because you get in trouble.

Me- I do? When?

Michela- Um...I don't know, Father. But I love you...

With Amanda

(SHE"S JUST BARELY 3!)
Michela- Amanda, can I cut your hair?
Amanda- No! I like my hair long.
Michela- Don't be so dramatic. I'll be gentle.
Amanda- You can't cut my hair.
Michela- But I'll be gentle!

Daddy, Why do boys...

Michela- Daddy, why do you go potty standing up?
Me- (thinking this conversation is too early) Umm...Ask Mommy.
Michela- Why? You don't know?
Me- All boys go potty standing up.
Michela- Ok. ( walks away and then back in the bathroom) boys are not smart. If you go potty standing up, you could get pee on the floor.
Me- Does that mean Daddy isn't smart?
Michela- If you go potty standing up, you are not smart.

I am Special!

Me- Do you want to listen to Billy Joel?
Michela- YEAH!
Me- Do you like this song? It's called Piano Man.
Michela- I don't. I don't like that instrument.
Me- You don't? It's called a harmonica.
Michela- Can we listen to Honesty?
Me- I'm impressed by your knowledge of Billy Joel's catalogue( with my worst english accent)
Michela- Thanks. I'm special.

Didn't You Mean...

Me- Come on Michela, It's time to clean your room.
Michela- I can't hear you!
Me- It's time to clean your room.
Michela- Didn't you mean to say it's time to go outside and play?
Me- I don't think I did.
Michela-I think you did.
Me- I think I meant that it's time to clean your room.
Michela- Didn't you mean to say that it's time to go to the park?
Me- Go clean your room.
Michela- Ok Daddy.
Me- That was easy

I'm not your Mommy!

While at the barber...
Michela- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
Hair Dresser- I'm cutting your daddy's hair, Mamas.
Michela- Hey, I'm not your mommy. I'm a little girl.
Hair Dresser- Oh! I know. Sorry baby!
Michela- I'm not a baby, I'm a little girl!

As we are leaving the Barber Shop...
Michela- Bye Bye!
Hair Dresser- Good bye sweetheart!
Michela- No! I'm  your Mommy. You have to call me Mommy.

My daddy used to be my mommy!

While walking through HEB with Clint...
Michela- My daddy used to be my mommy!
Clint- WHAT!
Me- No, No, No. Don't say that.
Michela- I can say that!
Michela- My daddy is a girl!
Me- (looking around at all of the stares)...Ugh..

There's a birdie in there!

Danielle- Michela, Come here and have a bite.
Mickey- What did you make?
Danielle- I made a hard boiled egg.
Mickey- (after staring at it for a few seconds) I can't.
Danielle- Why not? It's good.
Mickey- Because there's a birdie in there.

YOU LIE!

As we are leaving our apartment at 5 in the morning...
Me- Look how pretty the stars are, Michela.
Michela- Timon says that they are big fireflies!
Me- No, they aren't. What are they?
Michela- They are very big balls of gas, right?
Me- Good Job!
Michela- Did Timon lie?
Me- It's just a movie, Michela. He was Simba a story, that's all.
Michela- It's not just a movie! You lie!
Me- (it's 5 a.m....)

Toms

Me- Michela, can you go get your Toms please? It's time to go.
Michela- No, Daddy.
Me- Please? We need to leave.
Michela- No! I'm not a boy! I wear Sandals, not Toms!
Me- They are for girls. Mommy has some!
Michela- Then why to they call them Toms?
Me- Fair point.

High Five!

After being slapped in the face...
Me- Why Did you slap me in the face?
Michela- I didn't!
Me- Now you're lying. Of course You slapped me.
Michela- I am not lying. I didn't slap you.
Me- Michela!
Michela- I didn't! I gave your face a high five.
Me- ...

Waitress

Me- Michela, where are you clothes?
Michela- I took them off 'cause they are wet.
Me- Why are they wet?
Michela-I peed on the floor and they got wet.
Me-WHAT? Why did you pee on the flop?
Michela- I said 'I need to go potty!'
Me- I was outside walking ella!
Me- You cannot pee on the floor. You're a human, not a dog.
Michela- I'm not a human and I'm not a waitress.
Me-What?
Michela- I AM NOT A WAITRESS.
Me- No...No you're not...

Wal Mart.

If you know me, You know why this is funny. If you don't, I HATE WAL MART.

Michela- "Daddy, Wal Mart is your favorite store ever, Right?"
Me- "What?"
Michela- "Isn't it your favorite place ever?"
Me- "Who told you that?"
Michela- "Amanda did." (amanda is my sister-in-law.)
Me- "She was kidding, I'm sure."
Michela- "Nope. You love it."
Me- "ughh..."

HAIRY!

Me- "Michela, Do you want to say goodnight to Uncle Carlos?"
Michela- "No."
Me- "Why not? He loves you."
Michela- "Cause he's hairy. He's too hairy, Daddy."
Me- "What??"
Michela- "When we went swimming, he was too hairy!"

The Jungle Movie

Me- "Michela, Did you tell Mommy that we watched The Jungle Book this morning?"
Michela- "Nope."
Danielle- "Did you watch The Jungle Book with your daddy today?"
Michela- "No. We watched The Jungle Movie. We read The Jungle Book."

I see Monsters...

Me- "Michela, What happens to the sun when the moon wakes up?"
Michela- "It goes to sleep. And me too!"
Me- "Good job. What happens to the moon when the sun wakes up?"
Michela- "It goes to sleep and then I wake up and see the monsters in my room!"

Sing to me?

After coming home from a great day at work..

Michela- "Daddy, did you have a good day?"

Me- " I did. Thank you, baby girl."

Michela- "Daddy, can I have a favor?"

Me- "of course"

Michela- Can you sing to me?"

Me- "of course, Michela(as my heart melts with love!)

Punk

Danielle- "Michela, why are you crying?"
Michela- "Cause I'm being a punk"
Danielle- "What?"
Michela- "That's what you told Daddy."
Danielle- "..."

Horton is not there!

Michela-Daddy, did you put Horton on for me?
Me- No. Was I supposed to?
Michela- Yes..
Me- Well, I didn't.
Michela- Silly boy. You have to put Horton on.

An oldie but goodie!

Danielle- Hold Daddy's hand too, Michela.
Mickey- Actually I can't hold your hand. Only Daddy's.
Me- Get it right.
Mickey- When I get older I will hold yours too, but not today. Just Daddy's.
Me- JOHN FTW!
Danielle- Ouch.

Thomas Edison

Michela- Daddy, do you know who Thomas Edison is?
Me- (confused as hell) Yes, Do you? 
Michela- He invented the light bulb.
Me- yes, yes he did. who told you that?
Michela- Mommy.
Me- Good job, Mommy.