Daddy, Why do boys...

Michela- Daddy, why do you go potty standing up?
Me- (thinking this conversation is too early) Umm...Ask Mommy.
Michela- Why? You don't know?
Me- All boys go potty standing up.
Michela- Ok. ( walks away and then back in the bathroom) boys are not smart. If you go potty standing up, you could get pee on the floor.
Me- Does that mean Daddy isn't smart?
Michela- If you go potty standing up, you are not smart.

I am Special!

Me- Do you want to listen to Billy Joel?
Michela- YEAH!
Me- Do you like this song? It's called Piano Man.
Michela- I don't. I don't like that instrument.
Me- You don't? It's called a harmonica.
Michela- Can we listen to Honesty?
Me- I'm impressed by your knowledge of Billy Joel's catalogue( with my worst english accent)
Michela- Thanks. I'm special.

Didn't You Mean...

Me- Come on Michela, It's time to clean your room.
Michela- I can't hear you!
Me- It's time to clean your room.
Michela- Didn't you mean to say it's time to go outside and play?
Me- I don't think I did.
Michela-I think you did.
Me- I think I meant that it's time to clean your room.
Michela- Didn't you mean to say that it's time to go to the park?
Me- Go clean your room.
Michela- Ok Daddy.
Me- That was easy

I'm not your Mommy!

While at the barber...
Michela- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
Hair Dresser- I'm cutting your daddy's hair, Mamas.
Michela- Hey, I'm not your mommy. I'm a little girl.
Hair Dresser- Oh! I know. Sorry baby!
Michela- I'm not a baby, I'm a little girl!

As we are leaving the Barber Shop...
Michela- Bye Bye!
Hair Dresser- Good bye sweetheart!
Michela- No! I'm  your Mommy. You have to call me Mommy.

My daddy used to be my mommy!

While walking through HEB with Clint...
Michela- My daddy used to be my mommy!
Clint- WHAT!
Me- No, No, No. Don't say that.
Michela- I can say that!
Michela- My daddy is a girl!
Me- (looking around at all of the stares)...Ugh..

There's a birdie in there!

Danielle- Michela, Come here and have a bite.
Mickey- What did you make?
Danielle- I made a hard boiled egg.
Mickey- (after staring at it for a few seconds) I can't.
Danielle- Why not? It's good.
Mickey- Because there's a birdie in there.

YOU LIE!

As we are leaving our apartment at 5 in the morning...
Me- Look how pretty the stars are, Michela.
Michela- Timon says that they are big fireflies!
Me- No, they aren't. What are they?
Michela- They are very big balls of gas, right?
Me- Good Job!
Michela- Did Timon lie?
Me- It's just a movie, Michela. He was Simba a story, that's all.
Michela- It's not just a movie! You lie!
Me- (it's 5 a.m....)

Toms

Me- Michela, can you go get your Toms please? It's time to go.
Michela- No, Daddy.
Me- Please? We need to leave.
Michela- No! I'm not a boy! I wear Sandals, not Toms!
Me- They are for girls. Mommy has some!
Michela- Then why to they call them Toms?
Me- Fair point.

High Five!

After being slapped in the face...
Me- Why Did you slap me in the face?
Michela- I didn't!
Me- Now you're lying. Of course You slapped me.
Michela- I am not lying. I didn't slap you.
Me- Michela!
Michela- I didn't! I gave your face a high five.
Me- ...

Waitress

Me- Michela, where are you clothes?
Michela- I took them off 'cause they are wet.
Me- Why are they wet?
Michela-I peed on the floor and they got wet.
Me-WHAT? Why did you pee on the flop?
Michela- I said 'I need to go potty!'
Me- I was outside walking ella!
Me- You cannot pee on the floor. You're a human, not a dog.
Michela- I'm not a human and I'm not a waitress.
Me-What?
Michela- I AM NOT A WAITRESS.
Me- No...No you're not...